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July 6, 2012

Another week of Greek come and gone.  It waits for no one.  I know I haven't posted much about anything other than Greek, so I am going to take this moment to take a break and just talk.  While Greek trucks along, so does life.  My grandmother has been fighting a long battle with ovarian cancer.  It is a very painful cancer as it slowly crushes your insides and shuts your organs down.  Thankfully, my grandma has enough pain medication that it is bearable for her.

But her situation has made me reflect a lot.  One of the things I have been reflecting upon my relationship with my grandma.  I know that she loves me, as she loves all of her grandchildren greatly.  Sometimes in families you can tell who the "favorite" kids or grandchildren are, but my grandma really does love all of us.  But it makes me question, have I really loved her as much as I should have?  Have I respected her and looked towards her for wisdom which she undoubtedly carried.  Even in her dementia, she may not remember the conversation you had with her a couple minutes ago, but she can still paint beautiful pictures for you what life was like in her youth.  She can give you facts about where she grew up and fascinating stories of events from her past.  Why did I not ask her more questions.  I question why I did not seek more guidance and information from her?  The Bible teaches us value of our elders, but why do we not appreciate things while we have them?  I wish I would have invested more into our relationship, I know my grandma was willing.  I guess I will have to take peace in knowing that after she passes, I will get to meet her one day again and spend eternity with her.

Another thing it has made me reflect upon is the strange behavior of humans when it comes to illness and death.  One common phrase you always hear is "It's so hard to see him/her like this," when someone is sick or dying.  I know I'm about to pull out a soap box here, but guess what?  It's not about you.  How would you feel if you were sick or dying and people wouldn't come near you?  Especially if they told you it's because it was hard to see you in the state you were.  I think my response to them would be, "Try to see how hard it is to BE in the state that I am."  I've heard that death is a communal event, just as birth is.  I agree with that.  We are brought into this world surrounded by loved ones, we should be taken out of this world surrounded by loved ones.  Yes, it gave me sorrow to see how weak and frail my grandmother was, but that drew me to her, wanting to be there to comfort her.  Let's stop thinking about "us" and be more concerned with the sick and dying.  Who's going to take care of them if they are all "too hard to see like that?"

But enough about that.  My grandmother is seriously a woman with an amazing heart.  She has endured so much, including the loss of her true love over 20 years ago.  But her heart is the biggest I have ever seen.  Her faith to this day is still very strong.  Her life has been blessed with a big family and she was able to see her great grandchildren.  When she gets to heaven, she'll be able to tell grandpa all about them.  I hope that she'll also be able to tell him plenty of good things about me too, since I never was able to meet him.  Please pray for my grandma and my family as she passes from this life into eternal life.  Pray that though we will mourn the loss of her in this world, we will be comforted by not only her legacy, but in the knowledge that she will be with grandpa and God forever and one day we will meet her again.

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