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September 6, 2012

Disappointments

One week ago, we were signing up for our "modules" that we have to take during our first year at the seminary.  Having a last name that starts with an "R," I've grown used to being one of the last ones to pick.  But that doesn't soften the blow when you don't get what you were hoping for.  By the time it got to me, my first choice for my institutional module was filled.  So was my second.  And my third.  We were only supposed to choose 3, so I decided what I wanted to do 4th on the spot, but that was filled too.  Needless to say, the only module that was still open was the one that I did not want to do.  That was hard to swallow, but I recognized that the reason that I did not want to do it was because it took me out of my comfort zone.  I resolved in my heart to partner with God on this because I know that surrendering to God gives Him the ability to push those comfort zones and form me to make me a better person and a better pastor in the future.

However, today I received another piece of disappointing news.  The church that I really wanted to do my field work at and requested was not the one that I was assigned to.  My friend is the pastor there and I have been attending for the past couple of months.  I even have been leading the 9:00 Bible study there for a couple of months as well.  I've fallen in love with the congregation.  They are so loving and open and it has been a safe place for me to start growing in learning about ministry.  Marie found a place there too.  She attend a small group women's Bible study and has been able to find a great community there.  She helped out with VBS this summer and was planning on joining the hand bell choir which started tonight.  Once I received the news, it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest.  I was excited to work with my friend because he is a great mentor and I know that working under him I would have learned a lot.  The congregation was a great place to be in to be able to make mistakes and learn as you go.  Marie was getting integrated and had a place there as well.  And now it was gone.  And we don't even get to say goodbye as I am expected to report to my assigned church this Sunday.

I told my friend the pastor, and he said he is going to talk to the person who assigns churches.  I hope and pray that I will be able to switch to Mt. Calvary, but I have the feeling that it will not happen.  I pray that with this biggest disappointment (it was one of the things that comforted me when I didn't get get the module I wanted), if I am not able to switch, that God will give me the grace and strength to partner with Him at this new church.  I pray that no matter what, He gives me contentment with my circumstances so that I will be able to pour myself into wherever I end up so that I will be able to benefit the community as well as benefit from them.  Please pray for both Marie and I in this matter.  We could use the support and prayers right now.  Thank you.

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