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January 28, 2013

Eloi eloi lama sabachthani?

In the 9th hour, Jesus cried out from the cross: "אֵלִי אֵלִי, לָמָה עֲזַבְתָּנִי"  This is the Hebrew text taken from Psalm 22, the Greek translation being "Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani," which in English is, "My God, My God why have you forsaken me?"

The psalmist and Jesus both cry this out.  It's something that we all at some point feel like we can cry out.  Sometimes our soul is languished with pain and we just want to know where God is.  Because Christ was actually forsaken by God on the cross as to take on the punishment of our sin we more so relate to the psalmists feeling of being forsaken by God.

Right now my soul is in languish.  I'm so confused.  I feel like screaming out, "Eloi eloi lama sabachthani?"  I know He hasn't forsaken or abandoned me; I just can't figure out what He's up to.  I know that He has brought me to where I am in life, and I know that what is happening in my life is a blessing.  But at the same time, those blessings are putting me in a position where from my point of view I will no longer be able to be in the place He has brought me.  I know our God is a God of paradox, but I don't like being in one of those paradoxes.  God, what are you up to?  What is the meaning of the blessings in my life causing me to no longer be in the place where you have brought me?  I don't get it.  I don't know what to do.  I'm scared.  I feel forsaken.

Lord, I know You are with me and I know that You are working though I cannot see what all You are doing.  I know You have plans for me, please give me some insight so I know the direction to go.  Give me some confirmation that I am still supposed to be standing here and that Your blessings aren't contradictory.  Help me trust you, Lord.  I believe, help my unbelief.  Amen.

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