I am currently in Pastor as Counselor where I am learning tools and tips on how to effectively help counsel people as part of my future pastoral care. It's not supposed to be an end all be all class, but it's suppose to equip us with basic knowledge in counseling and give us the resources so that we can continue learning on our own. As part of this class, we are required to attend 5 sessions of counseling ourselves and write up a "Self Discovery" sort of paper at the end. For my sessions I chose Dr. Hartung on campus because not only is he a professional counselor but I talked with him over the summer a bit when we had to take personality assessments and I trust him and have confidence that he knows his stuff.
Today was my second session with him and a lot of tumblers have already started turning. First, it's nice knowing that I have a safe place that is just my own that I can go to and just talk about whatever. All the more that I have a safe place to self explore and look at what makes me tick and motivates me. Today when we were talking we touched on something that left me feeling very vulnerable. My stomach muscles quivered because of how exposed I felt. I may has well of been naked. I did not like the feeling at all and it was indeed quite painful, but that wasn't the point. The point was that I let Dr. Hartung into my experience and my views of myself. He was there with me in my rawness, and in bringing him in he was able to reach his hand out and tell me what he saw and what his views of me were.
Sometimes we forget, me especially, that the world isn't a scary, unkind place. We are alone not because everyone rejects us but because we shut ourselves off from the world without even realizing it. I'm glad that I am seeing Dr. Hartung and I look forward to seeing him next week. I don't know what we will talk about or how it will make me feel, but having that safe space to talk and explore myself can do a lot of good for me if I let it. I thnik I am going to try to continue seeing Dr. Hartung after this assignment is over and try to keep on with counseling after the seminary. I think that it's something that could benefit everyone if we all just gave it a chance, even if you don't have "problems." I thank the Lord for this opportunity and hope that I can keep it up.